A Fairy Tale

I’ve been in a dark, stressful place this past month, and it’s time to let the sunshine in again. So I’ve decided, for this particular picture from Creative Writing Ink, I’m going to return to my root, which is romance. For those not interested in this particular genre, you are welcome to look away. Yes, you know who you are 😛


So, without further ado, I give you A Fairy Tale. Enjoy!

Oh, and please excuse the typos. Couldn’t use the spell-checker (proofread writing) here, for some reasons.



A Fairy Tale



My heart was pounding, my breath was short and out of control. My legs were aching, and yet I picked up the pace. Everything around me was a blur. The sound of the orchestra and the people chattering became one huge ball of voice that penetrated my ears. I almost closed my eyes to isolate myself from everything that was happening around me, but I didn’t. Instead, I ran and ran, the sound of my beautiful pair of glass shoes attracting all the guests.


“Luna, wait!”


His voice was loud and clear. And yet, I kept running. I didn’t even look over my shoulder. But I could feel him running after me.


“Luna, stop! Please!”


My vision was becoming blurry now, thanks to my tears. I couldn’t decide whether these were painful or sad tears. Either one, I couldn’t stop. I mustn’t stop. Not when I was so close to the door, to anywhere but here.


The second I slammed the giant wooden door open, the evening air came rushing in. I heard the sound of the crashing waves loud and clear, as if Poseidon was expressing his outrage. I looked up at the sky and my heart sunk. The storm was coming. I took off my shoes and jumped a couple of stair steps. The next thing I knew, I was running like a mad man towards the seashore. Towards the ocean.


My feet felt like coming off like a damaged doll as I made my way closer to the water. The stones and pebles were cutting my skin, while the sand was flying everywhere and getting in my eyes. But none of that mattered. It was nothing compared to the pain that was raging and burning inside of me.


All of a sudden I felt a hand caught my wrist. The grip was firm, the fingers were familiar. A second later, I was pulled back. And there he was, out of breath, standing in front of me. It was pretty clear that he was anxious and scared for me. And I couldn’t blame him. I would be extremely confused as well, if the person I love all of a sudden ran away from me in the middle of our dance.


“Luna, what is going on?!” he put his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye. He had to shout to fight the roaring sound of the waves.


I shook my head like a lunatic. “Go. Just go.” I pushed him away. “Please, I can’t explain–”


It happened in a heart beat. The excruciating pain shot to my brain like a rush of boiling blood. I screamed at the top of my lungs, the only sound filling the otherwise silent night.


“Luna…” He held me tight, keeping me from falling. He cupped my face and wiped my streaming tears away from my cheeks with his thumbs. I could see his eyes started to water as well. “What is going on?? Please, tell me…” He was torn from not knowing what was going on and what he should do to help. It killed me to see him like this.


But I couldn’t say anything. I could never do.


“You’re not leaving me.” He whispered as he leaned his forehead on mine. “I may not know what’s going on, but I could feel you dissapearing. Don’t.”


He was begging me with his eyes to tell him what was happening, to let him help me. But he would never understand. He must never understand. Because that was the deal I’ve made to be with him.


I closed my eyes. The agony was more unbearing that before. If I stayed any longer, he would know everything. So with all the power left in my shaking body, I stood up. He stood up too, with his eyes staring in anxiety from not knowing what I would do and what would happen next. I couldn’t tell him everything. I couldn’t tell him anything. So I kissed him. A soft, gentle kiss that would linger on the corner of his mouth forever. He closed his eyes and so did I. Both of us wanted to keep this in our deepest part of memory.




I walked away before he opened his eyes. The closer I got to the ocean, the more painful my whole body felt and the faster I ran.


When the water was up to my chest, I finally looked back. There he stood, on the sand, staring at me.


“Goodbye…” I whispered.


And I dove. I dove into the sea and let the water drowned my pain away. Slowly but surely, I turned back into my real self. The sea creature who fell in love with a human prince.



11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Wanda
    Jul 28, 2011 @ 15:33:16

    Lovely tale, romantic, a bit sad. Classic. 🙂


  2. Novroz
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 01:35:34

    Err..are you talking to me in the introduction of your story 😉 hehe

    It’s kinda like the Irish movie called Ondine. Tho the ending is completely different.

    I like your chosen words. It deliver the story really well.

    Btw, you have just been promoted as one of Indonesian Short Story writers to read in an event to honor Indonesian Independence Day hosted by me and Mel 🙂


    • si_ulil
      Jul 29, 2011 @ 12:55:33

      Like I said, ‘you know who you are’! So if you think it’s you that I was talking about, I don’t see the point of responding 😉

      I’ve never heard or read Ondine before. Now that you’ve mentioned it, I’m quite curious.

      “I like your chosen words. It deliver the story really well.” >> coming from someone who’s not really a fan of a romance story, this means A LOT! so thank you!

      WAIT, I HAVE?!?!?!?! OH MY GOD, WHAT AN HONOR !!!!! THANK YOUUUUUUUU !!!!!!!!!!!!
      *cue the confetti canons!


  3. Theresa
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 18:58:45

    I enjoyed your story, in a way parts of it reminded me of Cinderella and the Little Mermaid. Just less Disney-ish 😀 Lovely piece of writing, sad ending but I like endings like that, it would be boring if all endings were happy! 🙂


    • si_ulil
      Aug 01, 2011 @ 07:12:29

      Thank you. Yes, that was the whole plan, to incorporate some of the famous fairy tales such as Cinderella and The Little Mermaid by mentioning the glass shoes and the ocean. Glad people felt that connection 🙂 I think I’ll just leave the happy fairy tale ending to the experts at Disney. hahaha…


  4. jewel2
    Jul 29, 2011 @ 22:40:40

    The story is very similar to The Little Mermaid which was written by the Danish poet/author Hans Christian Andersen, in 1830s. Have you read anything by him? I haven’t seen the Disney version, but would imagine it has a cute happy ending! Anderson didn’t have the traditional happy ending like Disney! His are more the sad/happy ending. You will see that in his story The Little Match Girl (my favourite). Would you call that genre – dark romantic? I’m not sure!

    Your style of writing reminds me of his work a great deal. I think you would be a fan!

    Again your descriptions and how you set the scene are spot on!


    • Theresa
      Jul 31, 2011 @ 08:28:01

      Oh, I’ve heard of a few of Andersen’s stories but didn’t realise the Little Mermaid was one of them! Though your comment is for si_ulil, thanks from me aswell for the info, I shall try and read it 🙂


      • si_ulil
        Aug 01, 2011 @ 07:19:37

        Like I said to Jewel, there’s actually a book wholly dedicated for his entire works. It’s like…the best gift my mom could ever bought me! You should get it 🙂

    • si_ulil
      Aug 01, 2011 @ 07:16:39

      Hans Christian Andersen is one of my idols! LOVE doesnt even describe how I feel towards his works! I have a penguin book wholly dedicated to his works, from The Mermaid to The Ugly Duckling. So for you to mention his work after reading my short story is….the effect on me is BEYOND!
      Your comments always put a smile on my face, Jewel. Thank you so much for the words of encouragements. And I’m still waiting for the critics, by the way. Don’t worry, I can take it 🙂


  5. sundryandco
    Aug 04, 2011 @ 14:51:31

    I really like the Poseidon line – it caught my imagination. There is something magical and atmospheric about your stories 🙂


    • si_ulil
      Aug 05, 2011 @ 13:24:35

      wow, thank you sundryandco! The fact that you’ve taken your time to read my posts means A LOT! Feel free to ‘litter’ and leave comments anywhere here 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: