Lose The Sun

I have finally found out why I’ve been having a tough time creating story lines from Creative Writing Ink‘s pictures for the past couple of weeks.  It’s because all this time, since the last time I posted a short story for the site, I’ve been writing poems and songs instead. No, this isn’t a new thing. Writing poems and songs have been my passion besides short stories and novels since I was little. Moreover, I’ve been listening to some songs that end up motivating me to write a chorus or two. Case in point: The Script and Adele.


So for this particular post for Creative Writing Ink, I’m going to use a picture from previous weeks because it’s the one that inspired me the most. When I look at this image, the first thought that came to mind is a broken life. Then my mind went straight to Love The Way You Lie, a song by Eminem ft Rihanna. To me, this image captures the abusive,  dysfunctional, and destructive relationship some people go through perfectly. It’s when you just can’t leave someone no matter how horrible they treat you.


To me, this is a song. But since you can’t actually hear it, might as well see it as a poem 🙂 As always, comments and criticism are needed.



Lose The Sun


Slam me to the ground

Drag me down, below the sea

All the pieces you have found

Just scatter them in front of me

‘Coz when you call me out, scream out loud

Start a fight, punch the light

All I can think is how much I need you

Slap me hard, break my heart

Tear me up, giving up

All I can think is how much I love you.


So watch me fall…

As I try to stand so tall

Come see me cry…

As I beg you to give this another try


‘Coz you’re what I want, you are the one

I don’t care if I lose the sun

You’re what I need, the reason I bleed

Can’t you see I’m on my feet?


Just take my hand, please understand

I’d take the pain, all over again


And again…

Until the end…



8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Wanda
    Dec 12, 2011 @ 14:17:04

    Nice poem indeed. Congratulations!


  2. Novroz
    Dec 12, 2011 @ 14:37:33

    Powerful poem,how I pity the person on the poem.

    glad to see you have no rhyme too 😉


    • si_ulil
      Dec 13, 2011 @ 10:34:00

      Thank you, miss. It’s inspired by someone I know, so it’s pretty personal.
      It actually rhymes if you can only hear how the song goes, hehehe…


  3. danniehill
    Dec 13, 2011 @ 07:00:50

    Wow. The strength jumps at me and hits hard. Love and devotion are just so many words until you feel it consume.

    Beautiful as a song or poem– which are very much the same.

    Great job Wulan


    • si_ulil
      Dec 13, 2011 @ 10:37:25

      This might sound weird, but dysfunctional relationships have always fascinated me. Okay, that sounded wrong! I just meant that it is the kind of serious topic I try to shed some light on in my stories. So for you, Novroz and Wanda to feel the strength from this particular work really means a lot. Thank you.


  4. CBCondez
    Dec 14, 2011 @ 11:53:54

    Finally, a poem from/by one of my favorite upcoming writers! Great one, my friend!

    I personally find that poetry writing is liberating, don’t you think? You’ve put so much power in yours, like a gush of emotions.

    And yes, many poems were meant to be sung — and I’m sure if we could hear yours, it would add to the message that you’re putting across. How about recording it and posting it here or in YouTube? We’d love to hear it! =D


    • si_ulil
      Dec 14, 2011 @ 14:43:44

      Wow. “Favorite upcoming writers”? What a title! Thank you, Cynthia.

      Poetry writing is liberating, indeed. I don’t think the introverted side of me would have survived high school years if I hadn’t written all my thoughts and feelings on paper. I still have a long way to go, though. And I am definitely nowhere compared to your poetry brilliance 🙂

      And to post my horrible voice here or in YouTube would be a humiliation in epic proportions, that’s for sure, hahaha…


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