Sixteen

After a whole week of absence from the blogging world thanks to a frustrating combination of crappy internet connection and a four year old laptop, I am back! I felt bad for missing one session of Creative Writing Ink and I hope I can make up for some lost time with this post.

The moment I saw this week’s picture, I gasped. This one is arguably my most favorite one from the site because it’s beautifully haunting with lots of story possibilities. So, without further ado, I give you….

10:25 PM.

I close my eyes with arms folded and head down. In the darkness, the sound of the rain gets even clearer, hitting the leaves above before crashing on the dark green grass below. In the distance, I can hear the sound of the train and some cars blowing their horns. If I concentrate harder, I may even hear the sound of my own beating heart, my own faint breath, myself crumbling slowly to pieces.

I shiver once again. Soaking from head to toe is not the best condition to stand and wait, but here I am. Under the apple tree where we would meet and sit to exchange stories about our day, good and bad.

I inhale deeply, allowing the cold autumn air and the strong smell of wet earth enter my lungs. I hold my breath and start to count. One….Two….Three…

With the crispy air, I only manage to get to 25 before I choke and let out a heavy sigh. My chest hurts from not breathing so I open my eyes. I found myself staring at my feet. Covered with mud and dirt, they look disgusting, swollen, broken. But compared to how I feel about myself right now, they seem acceptable. Somewhat pretty, even.

10:28 PM.

Under the tree, I am no longer protected as the rain grows thicker. Tears of the dark grim sky fall on me hard, like needles pricking every inch of my skin. Despite the torture, I feel numb. I hug myself. Memories start to seep in as time is ticking.

I remember your smile. My head spins.

I remember your outrage. My stomach jolts.

Your lips kissing my forehead. My skin tingles.

Your palm striking my cheek. My skin burns.

I love you, you whispered.

It will never be mine, Jess, you said.

Moments later, one drop of tear runs down my cheek. And out comes another. And another. They sting more than anything. More than the furious rain, more than the merciless cold. My defences crumble. I drown my face in my palms. My whole body’s shaking, screaming, crying, mourning.

10: 30 PM.

I hear your footsteps on the grass. Eyes drowning in tears, I look up. I blink at the sight of you a few feet away. Everything becomes mere nothing as you walk closer.

My lungs feel like crushing when you finally stand in front of me. You’re soaking wet and cold, your white office shirt pressed on your skin. Those blue eyes piercing me, your shallow breath taking away mine.

“Well?”

I cringe. Not even a hello. As if everything we’ve said and done meant nothing.

“Did you do it, Jess?”

I hug myself once more, my palm resting on my stomach. If only the rain would soften the ground so it can swallow me whole, like a quicksand. If only I could turn the clock around.

“For God’s sake, Jessica! I have a life! Tell me I didn’t come all the way down here for nothing!”

I stare at his right hand. At the wedding band on his finger. If only I were not sixteen.

“Jess, did you?!”

Memories of going to the clinic alone hit me like a ton of waves.

The sterilized room.

The blood.

The abortion.

Your request.

I swallow hard, trying to ignore the deafening sound of my shattering heart.

“Yes.”

Yes, I did.

****

Writer’s Note: The story is inspired by a song: Never Bloom Again by The Perishers. As usual, comments and constructive criticisms are always welcomed! 🙂